So, I left my lunchbox at work yesterday (yes, I have a lunchbox. And I love it. Shaddup. That's another post, anyway). So I packed a lunch today, but probably not enough to keep me satisfied all day, which I'm usually pretty good at. So I decided to hit the food option in my office building without going outside. Starbucks.
Small Chai Latte with nonfat milk. Good -- spicy. I love Starbucks Chai. Milk has calcium and is filling. Also good. And at 150 calories and no fat, a reasonable treat.
While I was there though, I thought I'd peruse the food case. I manfully resisted the banana bran muffin, and the apple fritters (oh, how I love apple fritters) and got the reduced fat 8 grain roll. Reasonable choice, you say? Not at 350 calories. I should have had the freaking coffee cake.
On the plus side, I also bought an energy bar at the drugstore (I was HUNGRY today) that I haven't seen before -- a ComfortBar. SO yummy. 180 calories, 5 grams fat, 5 fiber and 15 g protein. So totally satisfying and tastes like a candy bar! And totally organic. Now I just need a source that costs less than $2.50 a bar.
How about 350 calories
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
So what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to cut everything but vegetables out of my diet and work out 3 hours a day with a trainer!
Yeah, right. That would get me approximately nowhere, since I could last about 1 day with that plan. Actually, I'm not sure I could make it through the 3 hours, so not even a day. No, I've been trying to incorporate morning walks into my routine since January, and since that didn't get me very far (it rained a lot in January) I decided to join Weight Watchers. Now, I'm not one of those disciple folks who thinks WEIGHT WATCHERS IS THE ONLY SENSIBLE DIET EVER but WW has a couple of distinct advantages to me -- it has a program for nursing mothers, and it allows me to eat real food. Whatever I want. Just maybe not as much as I want. I can't do anything extreme without jeopardizing my milk supply, anyway. And yada yada lifestyle change that's sustainable.
On the plus side, since I am so very fat AND nursing I get a busload of pointythings (don't want to infringe on the trademark). So far this has been pretty easy. It will get harder, I'm sure.
I've tried WW before and failed miserably, however. What will be different this time? I have a PHILOSOPHY
The Philosophy of Dieting
NO FAKE FOOD
Sure, fat free coolwhip is 0 pointythings, but who wants to eat that? What IS that? I eschew artificial sweeteners and I know I go overboard with "diet" snack foods so forget that. Also, they really aren't satisfying for more than a quick craving fix. If I want ice cream, I'll eat ice cream, and account for it. It's much more sustainable in the long run.
OK, BE REASONABLE
Reduced Fat Mayo is already a staple. Skim milk doesn't even count. And low fat cheese is great for some things. Oh, and some energy bars are OK in my book because they satisfy my sweet tooth and the added fiber and protein actually makes me feel like I ate something. But NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS. (except for very occasional diet soda)
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
Sticking to the diet is a must. Sticking religiously not so much. If it's ACTUALLY a special occasion, I don't need to count it. I just need to a) try to eat lightly the rest of the day so I might have the calories to spare and b) restrict the definition of special occasion. Wedding anniversary? Yes. Going out for brunch with a friend? No.
EXERCISE
Yeah, I hate it, but it has to be done. I'm walking walking walking.
KEEP GOING.
Sometimes you fail, sometimes you gain, but just keep trucking.
Gah, I sound like one of those diet articles in Parade Magazine. No, I'm not doing WW meetings BTW. I don't have the time or the inclination. Just online. Messing about on the computer is much more my speed.
Yeah, right. That would get me approximately nowhere, since I could last about 1 day with that plan. Actually, I'm not sure I could make it through the 3 hours, so not even a day. No, I've been trying to incorporate morning walks into my routine since January, and since that didn't get me very far (it rained a lot in January) I decided to join Weight Watchers. Now, I'm not one of those disciple folks who thinks WEIGHT WATCHERS IS THE ONLY SENSIBLE DIET EVER but WW has a couple of distinct advantages to me -- it has a program for nursing mothers, and it allows me to eat real food. Whatever I want. Just maybe not as much as I want. I can't do anything extreme without jeopardizing my milk supply, anyway. And yada yada lifestyle change that's sustainable.
On the plus side, since I am so very fat AND nursing I get a busload of pointythings (don't want to infringe on the trademark). So far this has been pretty easy. It will get harder, I'm sure.
I've tried WW before and failed miserably, however. What will be different this time? I have a PHILOSOPHY
The Philosophy of Dieting
NO FAKE FOOD
Sure, fat free coolwhip is 0 pointythings, but who wants to eat that? What IS that? I eschew artificial sweeteners and I know I go overboard with "diet" snack foods so forget that. Also, they really aren't satisfying for more than a quick craving fix. If I want ice cream, I'll eat ice cream, and account for it. It's much more sustainable in the long run.
OK, BE REASONABLE
Reduced Fat Mayo is already a staple. Skim milk doesn't even count. And low fat cheese is great for some things. Oh, and some energy bars are OK in my book because they satisfy my sweet tooth and the added fiber and protein actually makes me feel like I ate something. But NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS. (except for very occasional diet soda)
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
Sticking to the diet is a must. Sticking religiously not so much. If it's ACTUALLY a special occasion, I don't need to count it. I just need to a) try to eat lightly the rest of the day so I might have the calories to spare and b) restrict the definition of special occasion. Wedding anniversary? Yes. Going out for brunch with a friend? No.
EXERCISE
Yeah, I hate it, but it has to be done. I'm walking walking walking.
KEEP GOING.
Sometimes you fail, sometimes you gain, but just keep trucking.
Gah, I sound like one of those diet articles in Parade Magazine. No, I'm not doing WW meetings BTW. I don't have the time or the inclination. Just online. Messing about on the computer is much more my speed.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Guess What! I'm fat!
So yeah, I'm fat.
I know this shouldn't come as a surprise. I mean, it's not like I got this way overnight. It's taken years and years to build up this heft you see before you. (Or don't see, as the case may be, because one thing I will NOT be doing is posting pictures. I know about internet stalkers.) I mean, sure, I had a baby last year, which built a lovely 50+ pounds onto my frame, but 44 of that was gone by the time she was three weeks old (and yes, I was retaining a municipal water district's supply towards the end), leaving me flabbier and striped like a zebra, but I can only really blame 10 or so of these pounds on that. Years of sedentary lifestyle will do it, and oh, yeah, eating too much.
The thing is, I don't FEEL fat. I can buy clothes in regular stores (only tops and dresses. All the junk is in my trunk). I have a cute (thin) husband, and a good job, and I'm not the slobbish loser that the popular media portrays us fatties as being. I even occasionally get whistled at on the street. I don't have any of those health issues that people associate with fatness -- my blood pressure is fine (and was all through pregnancy), my blood sugar is fine (and was, all through pregnancy), I'm pretty much healthy as a horse. A fat horse.
But these (gulp) 295 lbs don't lie. I'm officially fat.
Of course, the whys are both complicated and simple. Unlike, again, the popular media would like you to believe, I don't gorge myself on soda (never drink it), fast food (only occasionally an In N' Out Cheeseburger) and prepackaged junk food (I haven't had a twinkie since 1998). I think we can attribute these pounds to a few factors:
1) I'm an emotional eater. Yeah, I eat when I'm stressed or bored or unhappy. Big whoop. Recognizing it is half the battle my ass (and that's some ass we're talking about). I can't exactly make my emotions go away, and well, I'm still hungry when I'm stressed, which is often.
2) I hate to exercise. Yeah, it's not because I just haven't found the right exercise for me. I have NEVER liked exercise. I hate sports, I hate dancing, I hate running, I resent having to incorporate exercise into my busy busy schedule, I work long hours in a sedentary job, and yeah, exercise hasn't been part of my life. I know it has to be, but I don't have to like it.
3) I love food. And not a Big Mac. I mean real food - stinky cheeses, artisan chocolates, real butter. I'm a great cook and a great baker and I have a sweet tooth and man, I love to eat. And so I do it too much. I love healthy stuff too -- I love veggies. I just don't have time to do the extra prep work to cook them. (Meat is the easiest thing in the world to cook).
4) I'm lazy. I don't like to do things that don't come easily. In part because a lot of things do. So yeah, in order to do anything about this fatness, I have to deal with my laziness, which is really the hardest part.
So I'm fat, and it has grown to unacceptable levels, and I have to do something about it. Because really, I'm running out of wardrobe options. And I have a kid to think about.
I know this shouldn't come as a surprise. I mean, it's not like I got this way overnight. It's taken years and years to build up this heft you see before you. (Or don't see, as the case may be, because one thing I will NOT be doing is posting pictures. I know about internet stalkers.) I mean, sure, I had a baby last year, which built a lovely 50+ pounds onto my frame, but 44 of that was gone by the time she was three weeks old (and yes, I was retaining a municipal water district's supply towards the end), leaving me flabbier and striped like a zebra, but I can only really blame 10 or so of these pounds on that. Years of sedentary lifestyle will do it, and oh, yeah, eating too much.
The thing is, I don't FEEL fat. I can buy clothes in regular stores (only tops and dresses. All the junk is in my trunk). I have a cute (thin) husband, and a good job, and I'm not the slobbish loser that the popular media portrays us fatties as being. I even occasionally get whistled at on the street. I don't have any of those health issues that people associate with fatness -- my blood pressure is fine (and was all through pregnancy), my blood sugar is fine (and was, all through pregnancy), I'm pretty much healthy as a horse. A fat horse.
But these (gulp) 295 lbs don't lie. I'm officially fat.
Of course, the whys are both complicated and simple. Unlike, again, the popular media would like you to believe, I don't gorge myself on soda (never drink it), fast food (only occasionally an In N' Out Cheeseburger) and prepackaged junk food (I haven't had a twinkie since 1998). I think we can attribute these pounds to a few factors:
1) I'm an emotional eater. Yeah, I eat when I'm stressed or bored or unhappy. Big whoop. Recognizing it is half the battle my ass (and that's some ass we're talking about). I can't exactly make my emotions go away, and well, I'm still hungry when I'm stressed, which is often.
2) I hate to exercise. Yeah, it's not because I just haven't found the right exercise for me. I have NEVER liked exercise. I hate sports, I hate dancing, I hate running, I resent having to incorporate exercise into my busy busy schedule, I work long hours in a sedentary job, and yeah, exercise hasn't been part of my life. I know it has to be, but I don't have to like it.
3) I love food. And not a Big Mac. I mean real food - stinky cheeses, artisan chocolates, real butter. I'm a great cook and a great baker and I have a sweet tooth and man, I love to eat. And so I do it too much. I love healthy stuff too -- I love veggies. I just don't have time to do the extra prep work to cook them. (Meat is the easiest thing in the world to cook).
4) I'm lazy. I don't like to do things that don't come easily. In part because a lot of things do. So yeah, in order to do anything about this fatness, I have to deal with my laziness, which is really the hardest part.
So I'm fat, and it has grown to unacceptable levels, and I have to do something about it. Because really, I'm running out of wardrobe options. And I have a kid to think about.
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